by ericadcannon@gmail.com | Nov 18, 2018 | inspiration, lawyer life, true life, words

What would it look like to go from an anxious, chronically depressed, perfectionist lawyer to an open-mouth breathing, silent-meditating, spiritual life coach?

Many of my old colleagues may be surprised to learn about my internal experience as a lawyer. My office was after all the recharge office where over-stressed lawyers would come and sit quietly before marching back in. The lights were always off until just before sunset, quiet spa music often hummed in the background, and I sat there peacefully (or so it seemed) typing away. But that picture was only partially true (hey Rishikesh Yog Peeth friends). Inside, at times, I was M.E.L.T.I.N.G. D.O.W.N.

This is the story of how I finally matched my inside to my outside.

I remember thinking to myself when I started my career that I was not going to be one of those lawyers who gave her entire life to her job. I’d be remiss to leave out that there was a sprinkle of condescension and a dab of anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-better going on in that little pronouncement.

Well…we all know where this is going so let’s cut the shit and perhaps have a chuckle as we allow ourselves the mental montage of me sitting at my desk at 4 o’clock in the morning promptly responding to emails; me spending the night working in conference rooms just to go home, shower, and head back to work without sleeping; and me crying at my ironing board because I was so tired and depressed about having (cough cough) given my life to my job. I could go on but you get the point.

Funny thing about the ego mind: it comes up with all types of ideas of the many different ways that we’re better than next guy but when push comes to shove it’s not there for us. The mind that told me I would never sacrifice myself for my job is the same mind that insisted that I push through, work the hours, deliver stellar work no matter the cost, and not look weak.

One of my teachers, Mooji, tells the story of a man sitting at dinner with a date. Suddenly ego mind says to the man, “See that woman over there at the next table? I think she likes you. Go over and talk to her.” The man refuses at first but is eventually persuaded by the mind to get up from his table and walk over to the woman to say hello. The woman takes one look at the guy and says in an annoyed tone, “what do you want?” Immediately, ego mind says to the man, “tsk, tsk, tsk, you shouldn’t have done that.”

Wait, what!? But, I thought you said….

Nevermind.

this blog post is the first of a 3-part series about the process of going from super serious lawyer (give or take a bit of seriousness) to high-flying coachey McCoacherson.

hi, i’m erica

I’ve spent the last ten years helping people find their peace of mind, release their pasts, and enjoy the present moment with confidence, joy, and a clear understanding of what that really means.

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